Fathi Baladi (1961-1980)
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Fathi Baladi's Picture
Fathi Baladi's Picture

His Expectations

He who aspires to the eternal bliss realizes it not as a result of knowledge but by subjective submission to the law of pure moral. The aspired makes sure of the possibility to reach the truth, the beautiful, the ideal, and find himself in the Supreme Love. That is why God, the Just Judge, attracts him with the strength of love and shows him again to men, "open arms".

This is the expectation of Fathi.

Inevitably, he had to strengthen himself in the intentions of God for whom he would sacrifice his blood as a token of accomplishing such great work impossible to humans, that he alone knew its origin and nature.

But before going to join Him by a short cut, he gave Him thanks:

"I thank you Lord, for having created me, for having beautified me, for having glorified me."

Already the inspirations flow in an astonishing way. Fathi exposes them admirably. He describes his first sentiments that will appear in his new life as if he had lived or experienced them:

"Life is sometimes hidden but never disappears. Indeed, we cannot forget past moments, or the hours of childhood, or the promenades of our youth. We cannot forget the people we have left. And although they seem far from us, they are nearer than ever, in the silence we hear their gentle voices, and in "inanimation" we contemplate them as they move."

Hasn't he predicted his catastrophic demise and his return to the path that always guards his traces?:

"My youth was long troubled by the love of the great, the beautiful, the ideal, which I found unfortunately in everything I perceived, touched, loved. But my love for men, this love that attached me strongly to them, led me tragically to my separation from them, a simply social separation, for in my lonely life the image of these men, their faces, their characteristics permeated me increasingly to drive me sometimes to intolerable states of soul, bitter anguish, slow and long agonies.

Great was my sorrow to see myself far from them, to lose their warmth. But this separation perhaps allowed me to observe them better, to know them better, and thus to love them better. I reproached myself for not having continued with them along the road of life, I mean my hands attached to theirs, and my brow touching theirs.

But now I believe that this traced path, which has marked only my traces, left me the possibility of gaining these moments of reflection, of contemplation. It left me the possibility of taking it at times, for I mean to say to retrace my steps that weren't able to mingle with theirs, to return to a line of departure, to retrace my life that has never been separated from the image of man and thus to be able to love people better; for the return to oneself, the very depth of oneself, is a trial that enriches us and elevates us although it separates us.

This elevation separated me socially but in effect to integrate me in a freer, more beautiful, more humane way.

Yes, my house was lonely, but a house without a door and without a window. My path was long and painful, but a path that was next to theirs. My prayers were lifted by my one and only voice but will end up taking part in this human chorus.

I mean that alone I could observe and be better perceived.

Yes, his life is now hidden, but it never disappeared. His memories are transformed into movement and dynamism. His conscience, his strength and his feelings take on a greater splendor. He retains a clear memory of people's woes:

"I saw the world living in the confusion of tears, I wept for them

To those who are no more I think;

To those whose life is no more a joy I pray;

To those who suffer, starve or die I cry for them."

That is why he frequents the earth in a sensible fashion, makes contact with his own, and establishes new relations following the plan he had laid out: alleviate the sufferers, console the afflicted, assist the condemned, the oppressed, cure the sick, save the souls, guide the youth gone astray…

For the children he declaimed his universal motto:

"Children of the world I love you".

Vision of existence

An example touching on the essential point of existence:

Happy is he who has wings to hover over past centuries, to perch himself without intoxication over these wonderful human moments, to plumb from there the depth of human thought and destiny, to measure with the eye the route of the human spirit walking step by step in this twilight of religions, of successive legislations, of philosophies, to reach heights like a navigator on seas without visible banks, to guess at what point in time he sees himself and to what manifestation God calls the generation of which he forms a part.

His philosophy enlarges on the theme of the different phases of the human spirit's development in its relationship with the divine. He takes the present time as a point of reference to explore the past and flutter into future horizons. What did he want to know? What was he looking for?

At the age of sixteen, when these lines were written, he had considerable general knowledge about the history of nations, ancient and modern religions, cosmology, cosmogony, philosophy… and this by means of non-classical books he procured for himself. Yet whatever he read did not satisfy his desire. He wanted to acquire a more perfect knowledge about the primordial questions that trouble every man, relative to his principle, his existence and his destiny; he did not find any philosophical answer to his questions.

It is just that man should seek to discover the secret of existence. But all research remains improbable if it doesn't rise to the spiritual level.

Fathi characterizes as happy every man capable of traveling beyond space and time.

He warns such navigators about the dangers (dizziness) of a search not based on clear-sightedness, the risk of losing faith and hope.

Fathi was expressing his desire to be able to determine the point of his existence on the time line, with the purpose of reaching knowledge of the final point.

He also desired to know the vocation of the present generation, or rather his own vocation in God's design.

Did he attain it?

To enter into the inner conscience of a human being is impossible. However, all the signs he gave prove that his spiritual researches were crowned with success.

His Last Prayer Hymn of glory

We are saddened sometimes for those we love; we refuse to accept their departure, their suffering, their exhaustion. We revolt, we persevere and we weep. Lord, hear this passing melody; do not leave us any more, You who are so Great and Powerful. Look upon us, remain with us.

We are saddened, yes, for it is necessary. We also weep, for it is necessary to weep. We isolate ourselves perhaps in order to be found. And all this you refuse, even though it is joyful. Tears are beautiful, sadness is a path to You, and solitude is a hymn of glory to Your Greatness and to man.

Lord, do not abandon me.

Do not abandon any more those who suffer, those who are hungry, thirsty, those who are bound by the cruelty of men, and those who stand behind the bars of prison.

Never forget that we love, we weep, we look at life as of simple men, that we love You above all, and we look at You while lifting up our heads, smiling and glorifying Your Greatness and Your Strength.

Lord, help us.


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